I am a little like my family of origin in that I seldom like to be told what to do. It should go without saying that trying to manipulate me into doing something usually doesn’t work well, and leaves me feeling cynical towards the manipulator. I have been doing some self-evaluation lately to try and change those behaviors that isolate me, and prevent personal growth in my life. With that in mind, I am posting today :)
As a general rule, I don’t like to talk on the phone. Before my dad died, I would talk to him several times a week. He loved to tell me what to do, argue, and play devil’s advocate about anything and everything. When dad and I would disagree during a phone conversation, one or the other of us would hang up. We would stew for a time and in a few days it would all be over. I miss hanging up on dad.
When dad died, I made an effort to call my mom several times a week to check on her. At first, this was hard for me because I needed to learn how to become “phone friends” with her. Although it was awkward, I persisted because I needed her to help me through this time of grieving, and vice versa. I called mom yesterday and we talked for a long time. I enjoy talking to mom. She does not gossip, will keep secrets, and listens well. She doesn’t argue for the sake of arguing, and she is kind and thoughtful. She doesn’t tell me what to do unless I ask her opinion, and she prays for my family regularly. I will never hang up on mom.
Sometimes doing things that are hard for you personally can pay huge dividends.
Today is mom’s birthday. I think I will call her.
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